Mood Swings… geez

[kakairupowns]

Hey all,

Just a quick question for you. I don't mean to sound prejudiced or anything either, but just hear me out for a second. Okay, just a few weeks ago, my best friend (guy friend) came out. Now, we all knew that he was gay for a long time, it was just in the way he acted and some of the things he did, you know what I mean? If someone really knew him, it was kind of obvious, but he was hiding it well, so if you weren't looking for it you may not have noticed. Anyways, he finally realized it for himself and told us, and now he's… well, a little different. I'm so happy for him, because he's no longer hiding it and is free to be himself, but lately he's had the weirdest mood swings I've ever seen. He's worse than some people when they're PMS-ing. I mean, I love the guy to death, but he drives me CRAZY sometimes! He'll instantly switch from happy and excited to depressed or pissed-off, and for the life of me I can't understand why. Maybe it's because I'm a laid-back sort of person, and excitable people tend to stress me out, but honestly. Sometimes I'm afraid he's gonna give me a heart attack by switching from calm to angry to flippin' sugar-high in under five minutes. He used to be a really quiet person. He never spoke up in class and he was really guarded, until you got to know him. Now, he's always talking and bouncing around. I'm not kidding: BOUNCING. This guy has an endless supply of energy now.

So, I was just wondering if this is typical of him or if it's pretty universal. As far as I know, he's not taking any medication or anything like that, nor does he have any strange medical history of being bi-polar or schizophrenic or anything, so I'm curious. Still adore him, can't hate the guy for being himself obviously, but can't understand him. Just wanted to know if I'm alone on this one or if someone has a similar experience like this. Makes me wonder what it's gonna be like when his Dad finds out… *shudder*. His Dad's pretty inflexible, and having his son almost perform a 180 (personality wise) isn't a reaction I'm looking forward to.

Well, thought I'd share. Any input is welcomed. XD

Ja!

Comments

[stark-black.livejournal.com]

I can give you kind of a educated guess...

Since he's just recently come out, he's probably gone through a lot of emotional turmoil the last few months. Trying to decide how and when and if to tell who he was going to tell. Now that it's out in the open, that stress and anxiety and tension that was built up inside of him for so long is being let out and it has nowhere to go. It would be not unlike a flood gate. The whole thing is very overwhelming. Also, once you come out, you can finally let the (for lack of a better term "gay personality" if you know what I mean) out, and stop putting up this fake front. Unfortunately, you haven't really had a chance to let that personality develop and so even though you've come out you're still trying to find yourself.

I had a similar problem when I came out to my friends and family. If I wasn't all laid back, I was pissed off; there was no middle ground. It also happened to my brother when he came out. He had the most spastic mood swings EVER. Fear not though; it lessens eventually and everybody goes back to being normal... Er, relatively normal anyway. XD

I hoped that helped a little bit. I know I rambled slightly, but I had to try.

[kakairupowns.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much! I wasn't sure what was going on, and didn't know if it was unusual or not. XD

Wow, you and your brother both? That must have been interesting :D Thanks for the advice!

[stark-black.livejournal.com]

Sorry, I should have clarified. H's actually by brother in law, but we're so close that I just call him brother. But yeah, there was a whole lot of weirdness going around the family for a while!

[http://users.livejournal.com/_ofuda_/]

I agree with stark_black on this one. My take on it is that there's an immense backlog of suppression that's been released like the popping of a balloon. There may also be freak outs due to anxiety or fear over his dad's reaction cropping up at inopportune times.

I'm pretty sure it'll all level out and you'll be back on familiar ground with him once he's had a chance to re-adjust his place in the world. :)

[kakairupowns.livejournal.com]

Thanks, I certainly hope so. I love the guy to death, but lately he's been tiring me out XD Hope he adjusts soon before I have a stroke or something. Eheh :)

[ranty-rie.livejournal.com]

He'll calm down, eventually. He's just spazzing and panicking a little, but once he finds himself - he's probably trying to merge his 'true' self with his 'public' self - he'll find some sort of balance again.

Then again, I do have friends that are spazzy by nature, but they've always been like that. Random is gayer than the rainbow flag and in the least ashame to say it; he'll dress like the macho men one day, and the next day wear tight leader and the girliest shirt he can find. It's just a manner of who he is.

Jar used to be another nutcase too, but he was more subdued. He tended to deal with stress by bouncing around, whenever someone made a cruel comment, he'd just shoved it more on their faces.

In the end, the best thing you can do is arm yourself with patience and be there for him. He'll appreciate your support and it might help him redefine himself a lot faster. **hugs** Hang in there. ;)

[kakairupowns.livejournal.com]

Jeff's dress code hasn't changed, but he seems to have become a stickler for red. *Everything* is red now, except his pants, most likely because he can't find red jeans no matter how hard he looks. :) It's mostly his attitude. I don't really mind all that much most of the time, but it's those times where he decides to jump through my doorway when I'm in the middle of something, and he has the *worst* timing EVER. Two days ago, he surprised me and hugged me from behind when I was on the computer, and I was trying to drink my Coke and type at the same time. Let's just say I'm lucky I've got good reflexes. Or rather, my computer is lucky. A mouthful of soda barely missed my laptop.

I hope I get used to him, and I know I will, it'll just take time I guess. *sigh* Being his best friend means that I'm the only one who suffers these near heart-attacks, but I suppose that's a fair trade. Gah! I'm rambling again, gotta stop doing that…

Thanks for the advice, *hugs back* Glad that I'm gonna be seeing more of you around. You've got a wonderful sense of humor, and I hope your life gets on track soon :D